Signs of Religious Trauma for Adults in Denver Colorado
Religious trauma. Words that linger, they are often said with no chance of undoing them. Painful, heavy words that can't be erased, carrying a weight that lingers long after they've been spoken.
Religious trauma occurs when an individual, who has been part of a community or group that centers around a higher power, suffers harm that deeply impacts their well-being. This harm can manifest in various ways, affecting their physical, emotional, mental, sexual, and/or spiritual health and safety. It often leaves lasting scars, both seen and unseen, that can be difficult to heal.
People who have experienced religious trauma often endure a range of stressful, degrading, dangerous, abusive, or emotionally damaging experiences during their time within the group. These experiences can include manipulation, control, guilt, shame, and fear—whether it’s through rigid doctrines, emotional punishment, or physical harm. The impact isn’t just on the individual in the moment, but can echo through their future relationships, beliefs, and sense of self.
In many cases, group leaders may downplay or dismiss these experiences, labeling them as “normal” or simply part of the group's teachings or practices. They may insist that these actions are necessary for personal growth, spiritual enlightenment, or community unity. But let me be clear: these harmful behaviors and experiences are NOT normal. They are NOT part of a healthy or supportive environment.
What many may call “faith” or “discipline” is often used as a disguise for manipulation and control, leaving individuals questioning their worth and sanity. The truth is, trauma of this nature should never be overlooked, and it’s crucial to recognize that the harm done by toxic religious practices is real, profound, and deserving of healing. I am here to tell you that your experience, your pain, and your healing are valid. What you went through was not right, and it’s okay to seek support and healing on your journey.
Self-Hatred
Self-hatred involves both disliking others whom the group you came from despised and also developing a deep dislike for certain parts of yourself. When a religious leader seeks to control their followers, one of the easiest tactics is to undermine their self-confidence. If you don’t like yourself, you begin to lose trust in your own judgment. This leads to relying solely on the religious leader’s guidance. This is often framed as "sin." You start to see these negative traits within yourself, and then you project that onto others. The things you once accepted about yourself are now viewed as flaws that need to be changed because the leader insists that both you and everyone else must change to meet the expectations of the higher power.
Shame
Shame arises when you internalize a negative action and begin to believe it defines who you are as a person. Many unhealthy religious communities exploit shame as a tool to manipulate and control others. This form of control often leads to trauma, as individuals are made to feel that their worth is tied to their perceived failures. Rather than learning to take responsibility for their mistakes and extending forgiveness to themselves and others, people in shame-based religious environments often learn to suppress or deny anything that might be seen as wrong by their community. This denial of self-acceptance and the constant fear of judgment can create deep emotional and psychological trauma, making it difficult to break free from the cycle of shame.
Perfectionism
In some cultic or religious communities, specific actions or behaviors are often seen as reflections of a person's moral worth, with certain careers or family structures being promoted as spiritually superior. This can create a culture of perfectionism, where individuals feel the pressure to meet these high expectations. The result is often deep trauma, as the constant pursuit of perfection leads to overwhelming anxiety, stress, and the setting of unrealistic goals. The fear of not meeting these standards can cause emotional and psychological harm, perpetuating a cycle of self-doubt and trauma within the religious or cult-like environment.
Hypervigilance
Some cults or religious communities portray a vengeful God or higher power who punishes individuals whenever they fail to meet certain expectations. Other groups promote apocalyptic ideologies, warning of an impending violent end to the world. These beliefs can lead to significant trauma, heightening anxiety and creating a constant state of fear. This often results in hypervigilance—a heightened state of alertness meant to protect oneself from perceived or actual threats of harm. The trauma caused by such intense fear can have lasting psychological effects, as individuals remain on edge, constantly anticipating punishment or catastrophe.
Difficulty Trusting Yourself
Many individuals who experience religious trauma are conditioned to make decisions within the framework of a specific doctrine and hierarchical structure. When they decide to alter their relationship with these religious institutions or leave them altogether, they often struggle with regaining their autonomy. The trauma from such experiences can make it difficult to trust their own judgment, leading to challenges in making independent decisions outside of the religious context they were once part of.
Loss of Community (Outside the Organization You Left)
Religion offers a sense of community and belonging. When a person changes or leaves their religious faith, they may lose contact with friends, family, and acquaintances who were once central to their life. The trauma of leaving a religious community can result in a profound sense of loneliness and isolation. Rebuilding a new community can feel overwhelming, particularly when those outside their faith were often labeled as evil or inferior. This sense of abandonment and the difficulty in finding acceptance can compound the emotional trauma, making it even harder to navigate life outside the religious group.
Lack of Boundaries
Being part of a religious community often involves accepting guidance on how to live your life, and many religious groups place expectations on volunteering and service. Boundaries refer to the limits and guidelines that both the therapist and the client establish to maintain a safe, respectful, and professional therapeutic relationship. While these can be positive elements of religious life, they can lead to religious trauma when boundaries are unclear or ignored. When boundaries are not respected, individuals may struggle to establish their own identity without constant input from others. This can result in difficulty saying no to requests or prioritizing self-care, leaving them feeling drained, lost, and disconnected from their own needs.
Delayed Social Milestones
Purity culture is a religious concept that centers around rigid ideas about gender, sexuality, sex, virginity, marriage, and procreation. Religious communities that emphasize purity culture often closely monitor and scrutinize children’s social interactions, sometimes segregating kids based on their assigned sex. In these environments, LGBTQIA+ individuals, in particular, may be denied the opportunity to experience typical social milestones, such as first dates or kisses, until later in life. The trauma caused by these restrictions can lead to feelings of frustration and confusion. For some individuals who grew up in overly restrictive religious environments, the delay in these experiences can result in impulsive or reckless decisions in adulthood, especially once they leave their religious communities. The trauma of having such significant aspects of social development controlled can deeply affect a person’s sense of self and their relationships later in life.
Sexual Confusion
Religious communities that place an overemphasis on purity culture may fail to prepare their followers for healthy sexual lives, even within the context of marriage. The trauma caused by such teachings can lead individuals to struggle with feelings of guilt or shame when engaging in sex, especially for those who practiced abstinence until marriage. People from religious backgrounds that uphold traditional gender roles may also face difficulties confronting the complexities of desire, sexual drive, and performance that don’t align with the rigid beliefs they were taught. Some religious teachings about sex focus more on obligation than consent, which can result in unhealthy, harmful, or even criminal sexual behaviors. The trauma stemming from these harmful teachings can have lasting effects on individuals' relationships, self-worth, and overall understanding of intimacy.
Mental Health Disorders
Religious trauma can contribute to and/or cause a person to deal with other mental health concerns such as:
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Depression
Anxiety
Eating Disorders
Addiction
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Self Harm and Suicidal Ideation
All of these can be present before the religious experience happens and can cause symptoms to worsen. Other times, the environment can cause the symptoms to start and get worse over time.
Eating Issues
In a religious group or community, the environment is often heavily controlled by the leader, and one aspect that may be monitored is a person's eating habits. This control can extend to how much someone is allowed to eat and what types of food they are permitted to consume. In such a controlled setting, eating habits can become a way for individuals to exert some form of autonomy—by choosing what and how much to eat in an attempt to achieve a desired outcome. In some cases, eating disorders may emerge as a response to a desire to become less physically attractive, often as a coping mechanism to distance oneself from a perpetrator or to escape unwanted attention.
Being Unfamiliar with Mainstream Culture/ Isolated from It
In a controlled religious environment, leaders often dictate what information followers are exposed to, restricting access to ideas from other religions, communities, and even social media. Only content that aligns with the group's doctrine is shared, preventing any contradictory views that might prompt questioning or doubt. This control over information can create a sense of isolation, as followers are shielded from perspectives outside the religion. When individuals eventually leave or reenter the broader world, they can experience a "whiplash" effect—encountering new ideas and experiences they were previously unaware of, often later in life than most. The trauma of this abrupt exposure to the outside world can lead to feelings of isolation, confusion, and embarrassment, as they struggle to navigate new concepts and social norms they were never taught.
Nightmares
Nightmares are common for individuals who have experienced religious trauma, serving as a way for the brain to process and cope with the painful memories they've endured. These nightmares often involve reliving traumatic experiences, causing the person to wake up abruptly in an attempt to escape the distressing recollections. The fear of reliving these experiences can make it difficult for individuals to sleep normally, as they may develop an intense fear of going to sleep and confronting the painful memories of their past. This ongoing cycle can contribute to sleep disturbances and heightened anxiety around rest.
The first step in treating anything is acknowledging you need help. Without the acknowledgment of knowing there is something wrong you cannot seek help or process what you have gone through.
Types of therapy that can help treat Religious Trauma:
Brainspotting Therapy:
Brainspotting is a form of processing trauma and experiences. Often these experiences a person experiences are too difficult to process with logic and emotions alone. Brainspotting helps the body process in a way that it can handle through spots in a person’s vision.
Internal Family Systems
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a form of therapy that helps work with different hurt and protective parts of a person. It works to create safety again so that the person is not as easily triggered.
Attachment Theory
Attachment Theory focuses on how a person shows up in relationships. This can be difficult when you are abused growing up or in a controlled environment for a long period of time. Attachment theory works to help a person be stable and secure in their future and present relationships.
These are some of the modalities that can be used to help people process their religious trauma that Joyful Horizons Counseling in Denver Colorado can offer!