Love Bombing: 3 Signs You are Being Manipulated by a Religion from a Trauma Therapist in Denver, Co
"Love bombing" is a term often used today with a negative connotation. But do people really understand what it means, or is it just the latest buzzword? The term is frequently tossed around in discussions of toxic relationships, but it’s sometimes misused, blurring the line between genuine affection and manipulation.
Love bombing is a type of psychological and emotional manipulation where someone goes to extreme lengths to win your affection and pull you into a relationship. While it may seem flattering at first, the underlying motive is control rather than genuine connection.
Love bombing can be deliberate or subconscious. While it's most commonly seen in romantic relationships, it can also come from friends, family members or even groups of people like religious groups.
This behavior often stems from deep-seated insecurities, fear of abandonment, and a reliance on others for validation. It’s frequently linked to anxious or insecure attachment styles and sometimes associated with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People may also develop these patterns from their upbringing—mirroring passive-aggressive dynamics learned from parents—or from past unhealthy relationships.
In the early stages, love bombing often feels like overwhelming affection. But once the initial “honeymoon” period fades, the same person may turn to manipulation—like gaslighting or even abuse—to maintain control.
They can’t take “no” for an answer
No always means no. No exceptions.
But when you try to set boundaries with a love bomber or express discomfort with their behavior, they may become defensive, challenge your perspective, and try to make you feel guilty or wrong for standing your ground. They might twist your words, insist you're overreacting, or act hurt to shift the blame onto you. This kind of response isn’t about love—it’s about control.
The same dynamic can occur in religious or spiritual groups. If you begin to question their teachings, decline invitations, or try to step back, leaders or members may respond with guilt trips, emotional manipulation, or accusations that you’re being ungrateful, unfaithful, or spiritually lost. They may imply that your hesitation is a moral failing rather than a valid boundary, making it harder to leave or say no.
Healthy relationships—and communities—respect boundaries. If someone or a group refuses to honor your "no," that’s a red flag, not a misunderstanding.
They Rush to Lock Plans or Commitments
People who engage in love bombing often move too fast, too soon. They might call you their soulmate early on, talk about eloping, or describe meeting you as if it were fate. They may push for introductions to their close friends or family before the relationship feels ready, and often bring up commitment far earlier than expected—sometimes even skipping natural milestones in favor of rushing into a fantasy version of the future.
And it’s not just individuals—religious groups or high-control communities can use similar tactics. They might welcome new members with overwhelming warmth, praise, and a strong sense of belonging. You may be introduced to the group’s leaders right away, invited to intimate gatherings, or told that joining the community is part of a divine plan. This quick sense of connection is designed to build emotional attachment and loyalty before you’ve had time to think critically about the environment.
“They’re trying to create a fast sense of closeness, intimacy, and long-term commitment,” explains Dr. Tiani. “After just a few dates—or in a group setting, a few meetings—they might say things like, ‘You’re meant to be here,’ which can feel flattering—but also intense and overwhelming.”
They give needless gifts and over communicate their love
A love bomber may overwhelm you with surprise gifts as a way to show their affection. While gift-giving can be a sincere love language, it becomes concerning when the gifts are unnecessary, extravagant, or unwanted. If you express discomfort or ask them to stop—and they continue anyway—it’s a red flag. In these cases, the gifts aren’t about kindness; they’re about creating obligation and gaining influence.
Religious or spiritual groups can use similar tactics to draw people in. New members might receive free books, welcome baskets, event tickets, or other generous offerings that seem thoughtful on the surface. But these gifts can serve a deeper purpose: building emotional debt, reinforcing loyalty, and making it harder to question or walk away from the group. When generosity starts to feel like pressure or expectation, it may be part of a broader pattern of manipulation.
There are many signs that can indicate you're being love bombed by a person or group, but these are some of the most obvious and easy to spot, no matter who’s involved. If you find yourself in a relationship or connected to a group that has used love bombing tactics to draw you in, chances are you're being manipulated into staying. This kind of manipulation often makes you feel indebted, obligated, or trapped, even if you’re not entirely comfortable with the situation.
So, what now? Do you want out? Recognizing the manipulation is the first step toward reclaiming your autonomy. The next step is deciding whether you want to set boundaries, step away, or even sever ties completely. It might be difficult, especially if the love bombing has created a strong emotional bond but knowing what’s really happening is key to protecting yourself and making informed decisions about your well-being.